BE YOURSELF !!

Nobody, let nobody tell you what you are and what you can do and what your limits are ! We live in a world where normal is somebody with a "regular" job, family, two kids and a car, slogging your ass off if you are a man and a working,home maker with 2 kids and a providing husband who buys you stuff that you can show off to the other wives ...is "normal" !!

Well, there is a large contingent of population who are something other than normal !. There is special, there is extraordinary, there is different, there is odd, there is weird, there is new and there is real !!. The ordinary people who try so hard to fit into the box , be acceptable, be under the radar, be struggling so hard to survive while trying to look normal and accepting life with lowered expectations are the real messed up ones!.

The human psychology is to fear everything that they dont understand and fear anything that is new! Genius, Gay, Recluse,Oddly wired, emotionally traumatized, addictions are all not mostly man made or self made. They are as good or as bad as everyone else in this human race and to ostracize,blame push,abuse and attack are the deeds of misinformed, misguided, ill brought up, insensitive and insecure individuals who are not comfortable in their own skin.

The different individuals dont need our sympathy, empathy or even an effort to understand them.Just let them be and accept as you would accept yourself. We conveniently provide reasoning to all our thoughts, dreams,actions and goals ! Why not do the same to everyone else around us?.

If you cant help, dont harm by dismissive attitude,disapproval,judging and vindicating every step of the way since you cant put them in a box ?? The world has a place for everybody, a use for everybody and a job for everybody they can excel in and a person for everybody that will accept, embrace and love !!

Geniuses have died misunderstood and as paupers and then years or centuries later have been awarded posthumously or have had their works of prose, discovery, invention or art hailed and auctioned as masterpieces.In this supposed informed , evolved times, are we going to do the same to people who we dont understand or interpret according to our upbringing ( our parents brought up with belief systems and values with the tools they had in hand with the information accessible to them!) Isn't it our duty and fundamental right to grow beyond the teaching and learning drilled into us by God/religion fearing, authority fearing and approval fearing elders of our past times ?

Every human being is special, however different they may seem on the outside, there is a soul deep inside crying out for understanding,acceptance and unconditional love , not to mention or at least for love as a fellow human being. If we cant provide it then we are not any different from religious war mongers whose hate is stemmed from the the fact that another man/sect/clan/religion has different beliefs and faith !.

Love/ friendship these days comes with a long sheet of tick lists....

1)Is the person good looking ( social acceptance and vain pride!)

2) Is the person socially acceptable to my peers and elders

3) Is the person a good earner/provider

4) Does the person have a past that is acceptable ( to my narrow mind?!)

5) Does the person pamper and spoil me?

6) Does the person have social graces to my liking

7) Does the person make me feel good about myself (and make me forget my insecurities!)

8) Does the person let me do my thing while adhering to my conditions demands

9) Does the person put his/her happiness before mine

10) Does the person let me dominate the conversation

The list goes on and on...

we are dominated by peer pressure in our outlook, selfishness in our needs, vanity in our wants and unreasonableness in our desires!.... such is the world we live in and newness and strange makes us suspicious, guarded and puts us in attack mode !!

we need to chill and accept that life is for living...not just us but also for everyone around us and we need to help make the surrounding, society, country and the world we live in a more peaceful place by starting with ourselves!.Get rid of judgement, reproach, guardedness, homophobic nature and be free of prejudices coz in the end it always comes back to haunt and hurt us. Karma is a bitch...trust me !!

Nothing in this world is as it seems and there is a deeper reasoning to everything. some we can understand, some we is beyond our information, knowledge or comprehension!

here are some facts...

1)there are two sides to international terrorism....ask both sides and legitimate reasoning will be given by both sides!

2) smoking was legal and fashionable...now illegal to do it in many places!

3) Being Gay or Lesbian was illegal in India..not anymore!

4) marijuana is illegal all over the world ...except Netherlands!

5) you are given medals for killing in war.... hanged when you do it to protect your family!

These examples are all about understanding that nothing is real, forever or right !!

There are many Leaders in our society who take it up on themselves to moral police us when in spite of being in a position of power, they cant eradicate poverty, control violence, put a roof on every citizen's head, abolish corruption that is happening under their nose (or indulge in stealing millions themselves), but they will do everything in their power and God given right to tell people how to lead their lives and what moral rules to follow!!.

All you can do in the time given to you in this world is to accept, embrace and move forward.... the best way you see fit while going through your fears, insecurities, guilt, accidents to body (and mind!), recuperate, heal, learn and ....LIVE !! I say LIVE in capitals coz if you are living a life of suspicion, wariness, blame, control, dominating the powerless, being dominated by the powerful, unforgiveness and loathe .....you are existing and doing it badly!!

We all have only one certain goal....and before we reach that goal, lets try and make the world around us more tolerable...by being more tolerant!!

Btw...THAT CERTAIN GOAL IS..... DEATH !!

(who says we cant have happy endings??) :)

The relationship maze....!

Some are lucky, some aren't, some fake it, some compromise, some have lowered expectations, some cant hold a conversation but need a lot of attention, some don't need intellectual stimulation, some happy with fake people, some happy with false promises, some happy just between the sheets, some too closed to open up 'between the sheets', some happy that they have someone "to show" that they are happy, some are getting it on the side, some have "open" relationships, some love the drama, some can't escape, some can't accept the truth, some live single while committed, some can never be committed, some can never be lonely, some cant run, some dont know any better, some convince themselves this is probably happiness, some are scared to let go, some are scared to hold on, some dont give themselves the chance, some cant give others a chance, some have unrealistic expectations, some expect the other person to make them happy, some blame their misery on the other person, some love even when they dont like, some like but cant get themselves to love, some blame it on fate, some blame it on time, some blame it on timing, some blame themselves, some think it's never their fault, some can never see the truth, some prefer to live far away thinking and wishing 'what if' when they are needed to be 'mentally' around, some get too needy, some get too greedy, some cant see the problems inside and around, some can see only the problems, some prefer to be single because they can't forget! some are single because they cant forgive the other, some are single because they cant forgive themselves! Phew!! Where do we stand...? Wherever we do, life is tough!!

a lovely after note from a friend....

Anu Reaney and yet, we all somehow muddle along, wishing, waiting, hoping, dreaming, grabbing at the sometimes elusive, sometimes ephemeral chances at happiness, with others and with ourselves. Life maybe tough, but its all we've got and I for one am happy just to be breathing. :-)re lu

man as a woman.... !!

A man was sick and tired
Of going to work every day
While his wife stayed home.
He wanted her to see what he went
Through so he prayed:
'Dear Lord:
I go to work every day and put
In 8 hours while my wife
Merely stays at home.
I want her to know what
I go through.
So, please allow her body to
Switch with mine for a day.

God, in his infinite wisdom,
Granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough,
The man awoke as a woman...
He arose, cooked breakfast
For his mate,
Awakened the kids,

Set out their school clothes,
Fed them breakfast,
Packed their lunches,
Drove them to school,
Came home and picked
Up the dry cleaning,
Took it to the cleaners
And stopped at the bank
To make a deposit,

Went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put
Away the groceries,

Paid the bills and balanced
The check book.
He cleaned the cat's litter box
And bathed the dog..
Then, it was already 1 P.M.
And he hurried to make the beds,
Do the laundry, vacuum,
Dust, And sweep and mop
The kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up
The kids and got into an argument
With them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and
Got the kids organized to do
Their homework.
Then, set up the ironing board
And watched TV while he
Did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling
Potatoes and washing
Vegetables for salad,
Breaded the pork chops
And snapped
Fresh beans for supper.

After supper,
He cleaned the kitchen,
Ran the dishwasher,
Folded laundry,
Bathed the kids, And put
Them to bed.
At 9 P.M. He was exhausted
And, though his daily chores
Weren't finished, he went to
Bed where he was expected to
Make love, which he managed
To get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke
And immediately knelt by the
Bed and said: -
Lord, I don't know what
I was thinking.
I was so wrong to envy my
Wife's' being able to stay
Home all day.
Please, Oh! Please,
Let us trade back.. Amen!'
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

'My son, I feel you have
Learned your lesson and
I will be happy to change
Things back to the way
They were.
You'll just have to wait
Nine months, though.
You got pregnant last night.'

This has been voted
Women's Favorite
E-mail of the Year!

If you agree, send it
To all your friends who
Would enjoy this!!!!

Must Read ! Very Powerfully Worded. Bravo - Prakash Bajaj, Editor of Times of India.

LETTER OF THE EDITOR OF "THE TIMES OF INDIA" TO THE PRIME MINISTER OF INDIA Dear Mr. Prime minister, I am a typical mouse from Mumbai. In the local train compartment which has capacity of 100 persons, I travel with 500 more mice. Mouse at least squeaks, but we don't even do that. Today I heard your speech, in which you said, 'NO BODY WOULD BE SPARED'. I would like to remind you that fourteen years have passed since serial bomb blasts in Mumbai took place. Dawood was the main conspirator. Till today he is not caught. All our Bollywood actors, our builders, our Gutka king keep meeting him, but your Government can not catch him. Reason is simple; all your ministers are hand in glove with him. If any attempt is made to catch him, everybody will be exposed. Your statement 'NOBODY WOULD BE SPARED' is nothing but a cruel joke on these unfortunate people of India. Enough is enough. As such, after seeing terrorist attack carried out by about a dozen young boys, I realize that if same thing continues, days are not far away when terrorists will attack by air, destroy our nuclear reactors and there will be one more Hiroshima. We the people are left with only one mantra. Womb to Bomb to Tomb. You promised Mumbaikar Shanghai; what you have given us is Jalianwala Baug. Today only your home minister resigned. What took you so long to kick out this joker? Only reason was that he was loyal to Gandhi family. Loyalty to Gandhi family is more important than blood of innocent people, isn't it? I am born and brought up in Mumbai for last fifty eight years. Believe me, corruption in Maharashtra is worse than that in Bihar. Look at all the politicians, Sharad Pawar, Chagan Bhujbal, Narayan Rane, Bal Thackray , Gopinath Munde, Raj Thackray, Vilasrao Deshmukh all are rolling in money. Vilasrao Deshmukh is one of the worst Chief ministers I have seen. His only business is to increase the FSI every other day, make money and send it to Delhi, so Congress can fight next election. Now the clown has found new way and will increase FSI for fishermen, so they can build concrete houses right on sea shore. Next time terrorists can comfortably live in those houses, enjoy the beauty of the sea and then attack our Mumbai at their will. Recently, I had to purchase a house in Mumbai. I met about two dozen builders. Everybody wanted about 30% in black. A common person like me knows this and with all your intelligent agency & CBI, you and your finance ministers are not aware of it. Where all the black money goes? To the underworld isn't it? Our politicians take help of these goondas to vacate people by force. I myself was victim of it. If you have time please come to me, I will tell you everything. If this has been a land of fools, idiots, then I would not have ever cared to write to you this letter. Just see the tragedy. On one side we are reaching moon, people are so intelligent; and on the other side, you politicians have converted nectar into deadly poison. I am everything Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Schedule caste, OBC, Muslim OBC, Christian Schedule caste, and Creamy Schedule caste; only what I am not is INDIAN. You politicians have raped every part of Mother India by your policy of divide and rule. Take example of our Former President Abdul Kalam. Such an intelligent person; such a fine human being. But you politician didn't even spare him and instead choose a worthless lady who had corruption charges and insignificant local polititian of Jalgaon WHO'S NAME ENTIRE COUNTRY HAD NOT HEARD BEFORE. Its simple logic your party just wanted a rubber stamp in the name of president. Imagine SHE IS SUPREME COMMANDAR OF INDIA'S THREE DEFENCE FORCES. what moral you will expect from our defence forces ? Your party along with opposition joined hands, because politicians feel they are supreme and there is no place for good person. Dear Mr Prime minister, you are one of the most intelligent persons, a most learned person. Just wake up, be a real SARDAR. First and foremost, expose all selfish politicians. Ask Swiss banks to give names of all Indian account holders. Give reins of CBI to independent agency. Let them find wolves among us. There will be political upheaval, but that will be better than dance of death which we are witnessing every day. Just give us ambience where we can work honestly and without fear. Let there be rule of law. Everything else will be taken care of. Choice is yours Mr. Prime Minister. Do you want to be lead by one person, or you want to lead the nation of 100 Crore people? Prakash B. Bajaj Editor Mumbai-Times of India

hormones of a growing up geek! (part 1)

Ok, I am back!! Not with any intelligent, interesting,topical, mind blowing, mind boggling, brain numbing(maybe out of boredom!),life changing,path breaking, or thought provoking reading material, but my usual nonsense which might bother some, irk some,anger some, offend some, insult some, shock some and if I managed to do all that, I am blessed, happy and content!. Thank you ! :p !

The heading is purely for my own entertainment and to make sure you read this drivel ! I am taking you back to my childhood years of confusion and gradually going to lead you on to my growing up years of confusion and ultimately to my grown up years of..........confusion!! What is he talking about...you might ask?(as you always must wonder!), but ask any boy growing up about girls and hormones and he will definitely be confused! Actually, ask any man about women and he will be confused too!!

Coming to the point (isn't 'coming' the point?!, but I digress, like I always do!) This is about my childhood and my growing years and my brush with adolescence, insecurities,crushes, romance, manhood and all that nonsense that nobody wants to talk about!

Since no one wants to, I am here, the knight in 'rusty' armour, dying to talk about shit you dont wanna hear about, talk about and acknowledge!!

I was about 8 or 9 when I came face to face with what sex!(noooooo, not in person, you perverts!!). I was taken to a premiere of a film by my dad since I hounded him to take me to the beach and he had no time for an evening in the beach with a little twerp who had an appetite of a rhinocerous and the retaining power of a sparrow! Instead of feeding me and having me throw up all the way back, he decided to take me to a movie premiere to spare himself my nonsense! He told me it was hero Krishna's film and I was so excited since he did a lot of action/cowboy movies then and was looking forward to some good old asswhupping by the hero to the goons with the outdated 'dishum dishum' sounds !!.On reaching there, the friend who called my dad to the premiere was shocked on seeing me and whispered something to my dad and my dad said , he's a little kid, he wont understand! Such fateful words they were!, mostly because it was an 'ADULTS ONLY' film and it was about a man's affair with his maid and how his wife deals with it(which was the boring part for me!!). I was completely mesmerised at the hero forcing himself on the maid and the maid after a while agreeing with moans of yes... which made me understand it was all agreeable to the girl and the hero and both were getting it on! (they were biting each other and smelling each other a lot, probably since kissing was a big no,no!) and what they were getting it on became a source of mystery for me since then on !!

So, the ever inquisitive mind of yours truly went off to find out what they were upto and proceeded to ask my friends at school and one 'whispered to me' that it was 'sex' after looking here and there..lest anyone would listen and from then on, it became a habit for me to whisper that word!(like most Indians do, I guess!!). One other wise friend told me that a man has to sleep on top of a woman and she would have babies!! I was shocked and wondered if thats how I came about into this world?!( though the thought of my dad with my mom made me lose my appetite for a day before I decided never to include my parents and sex in the same thoughts!! Another intelligent friend told me that a man kisses a woman and babies were born!. Here i was wondering what they were doing on top of each other and these friends of mine were talking about babies!! I failed to see the connection till another friend told me that anything you did with girls resulted in babies!!.That killed my curiosity for a while ( about babies,..not about sex!!)

I still kept checking out magazines and pictures/posters for any clue of 'sexing' or any such thing, but in the days of no TV and no reading material allowed in the house apart from school books and cartoons, it remained a mystery to me for a long time!!

All was going well till i was thrown into a co-ed school and the whole world changed for me! I encountered girls!; these alien creatures who threatened my very existence by shattering my calm, content and eventless life of substandard grades, bad knowledge of English and limited knowledge of everything you could think of!!.They all sat in front of the class, they all got good marks and were the first ones to raise their hands when a question was asked and even answered correctly! The intelligent boys decided to hate them for upstaging them, the brash boors decided to hate them for acting so superior, the average, almost passed boys (like me!) decided to hate them because the girls ignored us...so basically we were on one team/side/planet and they were on the other! (Anything you dont understand, you hate..is human tendency, which I learnt later on !!)

My reading started with comics and then on to Enid Blyton (Famous Five and Secret Seven!) and then on to Hardy Boys which had nothing to offer apart from plain excitement, no mystery to unravel as far as girls were concerned!. It didn't help much that all the boys kept them at arms length, vary of their intelligence,their studious nature and their hushed conversations which the boys always attributed to their plotting against the boys to upstage them! Suddenly one day a friend of mine pushed something into my bag and said, 'this is for you'..if you get caught, dont say my name! I had no clue what it was and since I was too young and/or dumb to wonder about drugs and contraband, I went home in eager anticipation about what it was! at home, in a quiet corner( I didn't have my own bedroom) of my bed which was in a corner of the room where my aunt slept, I gazed upon the stash!.It was a book called Nick Carter and it was about a secret agent and his adventures.I didn't think much of it, but proceeded to read it as a fantasy till I came to his exploits with women..it was graphic, detailed and intoxicatedly erotic !(all to me since if you read it today, it would be nothing much!) .i discovered sex!! I had all the answers, finally!! I read, reread it a million times and was happy that i finally found the answers i was looking for!(or so i thought!)

Now, with my new found knowledge, I entered the school the next day and started looking at the world (and girls!) in a new light!. Suddenly these strange creatures started to go from 'stay away enemies' to 'not bad' to 'gotta find out more about them'

status !. I confessed to my friend ( the bootleg/smuggler/dealer of the infamous book!) that girls are not so bad and he looked at me wolfishly and smiled!, saying 'I got some more books, with pictures!!'. I almost had a heart attack (if it was possible for a 11 yr old to have a heart attack over porn!) and greedily nodded my head up and down, as if to say yes, all the while gulping and wide eyed with excitement.he said soon!, with an all knowing smile and proceeded to take his Nick Carter and ran off, leaving me in dismay at having lost a treasure !

This is about the time that the infamous 'hormones' starting kicking in at the wise old age of 12! (for me and the rest of the class, which I figured later!).Suddenly the boys chins became darker, the upper lip became darker (for the boys as well as some girls!!).lo and behold, the girls suddenly looked fairer, feminine, walking funny(hips swaying, which I couldn't figure out then!),their highpitched giggles was something i would wait to hear

and the flowers they wore on their pony tails or long braids suddenly seemed intoxicating! As it is my day dreaming kept me out of class(mentally!) till then, now this distraction just wouldn't let me concentrate on studies, school and my ordinary life!.It seemed to me that suddenly all boys wanted to talk about was girls and were busy exchanging books of raunchy stories and since I had nothing to exchange with (since I was banned at home from buying any book with romantic pose on the cover!)!.I had to contend with Archie comics and ogling at Betty and Veronica ( I was even willing to fantasize about Ethel, imagine how desperate I was!!) How I managed to get passing grades and stay under the radar(from being expelled!), God only knows !!

This is when something physical started happening to me...down south!! A stirring in my loins, to say the least.....! something that scared, shocked, astonished and petrified me since there was one body part that I thought belonged to me and it was telling me clearly that it would listen to no one!! It kept bothering me at all the wrong times and I was embarrassed to get up most of the time, not knowing if I can share this info with anyone, whether something was wrong with me and if the problem was mental or physical since it was an equal opportunity culprit, bothering me at visual imagery and imaginary imagery !!.Every girl looked fine and every woman looked sensual!.I was going through hell since I couldn't talk to anyone about it and by the time I was thirteen, I decided to 'take the matters in my own hands'!!

PART DEUX COMING SOON.....if you like this !!!

Flirting !!

Boy, it's been a while since I put pen or paper ( or is it typed on comp or ..put thoughts online??) whatever it is, before I confuse myself some more before I even start writing( or is it typing?..damn I digress again!!) ok, ok the point I am trying to make is that it's been a while..nuff said and i won't confuse myself or you anymore !!

I have a confession to make..(no, its not about the threesome or something in those lines.. wherever your dirty mind takes you!!) I titled this flirting purely for eyeballs/readers/trp's/audience... whatever you call it depending on the medium you are trying to attract! It has nothing to do with the banal meaning of the word, which is to tease the opposite sex ( and sometimes same sex..these days!!) with innuendos and arousing words!. This flirting is of the different kind!. What other kind could there be?, you might ask. There is and I will explain if you are not impatient like me!. I flirt with life, living, love and finally, disaster!!Before i sound like a basket case, lemme explain!

There have been many instances when well meaning peers, friends and elders have heaped advice on me, telling me how I should/ should have planned my life better, my finances better and my life choices better! I am so tired of listening to it that I am sometimes, actually most of them short of patience and would love to politely tell them to 'fornicate off ' but then, I hold my tongue and let the bile in my throat pass (in either direction) and then change the topic after smiling benignly at their concern!

It is no surprise that all the advice has come from people who have jobs that they hate and although they go through the same amounts of stress as anyone else, they think doing a job they dont love is worth it as long as the monthly pay check is steady, the bills are paid and a percentage is put away for the kids!! Sounds sensible right?? then why the eff doesn't it sound sensible to me?? coz I am me!! (weird/mad/stupid/crazy...take your pick!!)and I live on adrenalin, the rush, the danger of the unknown, living on the edge,living for the love of my work...etc, etc!!I am no saint or hero..it's just the way some of us are wired, that's all!!

Now how could I plan anything when I have chosen a profession where I dont know what my next job is, where my next paycheck is coming from, dont know how long the highs or lows (of income and success) last?? And hey, as long as I am not asking for money from the people who advise me. what gives them the right to advise me?? I have no complaints... I can live on what I have and I can live on what I dont have , but I can live with dignity knowing that I am doing a job that I love and I look forward to doing it, Monday, Sunday , rain , snow sun or sleet!! How many people can boast of that??. The upside, when it rains..it pours!; the down side, when you are down, you are out and forgotten unless you have the dogged determination and optimism that keeps you from putting a bullet in your head and carry on cheerfully despite rejection of every kind possible?!!

I dont really know how many people can relate to this, but in the world of entertainment, you are only as good as your last project and you are only as busy as the work you are doing right now! Anything can happen, change, catapult you (up or down) with such swiftness that will make anyone's head spin! Such is the high of the entertainment industry !! The point I am trying to make is that people in the arts are people who have to be foolishly optimistic and greedily hungry for more.... not more money, but better opportunities and better chances at showcasing their talent or bettering themselves by working in elite company of stalwarts who improve their... game/craft/talent !!

For a real artiste, it is never about the money, it is all about the rush you feel when you are in the moment... performing, creating, conducting, directing etc etc !! When the times are good, things fall into place and there are people who take care of the mundane ( as in finances!!) and when the times or bad, you either dont make that much or even if you make, there isn't anyone there to safe guard your interests ( and maybe even steal from you, coz you are too busy loving what you are doing!!). So, it could go either way and as it so happens, it happens to the most of us!! If as artistes we didn't flirt with danger ( read that as putting money in something you see the world's worth in, but others dont!) flirt with love (coz we see what can be and not what is..and the motives!!) flirt with living ( no respect for time,rest, sleep and normalcy!!) and flirt with danger ( we live in the moment, not the repercussions!) flirt with disaster ( most of our lives are disasters, anyway!!) and flirt with life ( many lives have gone down the drain, but have been posthumously hailed, a la Picasso/Guru Dutt/Charlie Chaplin!)

The reason behind this scribbling is that there are second chances...

No body can predict tomorrow and for those who are seeing lows, ...this too shall pass! for those who are seeing fame, name, money and heady success,...this too shall pass! Nothing is constant in life and the best thing to do is to take everything with a pinch of salt!. Take what you do seriously, not yourself...never yourself coz you are no more than a speck of sand in a vast beach full of sand till the eye can see!! There is an Amitabh Bachan who came back from the dead (financially and career wise!), there is a John Travolta and there is a Diego Maradonna who reinvented themselves and came back with a bang!!

Artistes, performers and creators need to understand that since they have put their heart ahead of their head, all they have is their work to lead the way...to success or failure and trust me, you will see both, ...in turns! For those who haven't been recognized, dont lose hope..for those who have been up and are seeing down, reinvent your craft, your tools and come back bigger and better and for those who think they have reached a plateau of mediocrity, get away for a while and come back with clarity! Time away is always the answer.... you dont find them when in you are in the middle of the battle for survival..you need to get out and look at yourself objectively and what you have to offer... neutrally!!

I have no clue as to where I am going with all this, but all I can say is I am enjoying the rush and the uncertainty and telling others to keep the faith! and concentrate on what you do and not the results! A batsman needs to look at the ball while playing and not the scoreboard, right?? So for all the friends from the entertainment industry in one form of the other, it's ok to feel low, it's ok to feel high (elated..lest you think drugs!!)..we give our everything out there and what life gives back to us can never be bad unless we have a self destruct button inside us , (which we need to watch out for!!) coz some do measure their self worth to the love and adoration they get from fans, which is always a bad plan!!

For those who believe in what they have to offer, the time will come and all you need to do is.......hold on !! THE BEST IS YET TO COME !! Good luck and God Bless !!

P.S I have traded my sense of humor for sincerity, hope you will all forgive me! I will try not to repeat this mistake again !!

Madness !!

Since I am no internationally acclaimed writer and there would be no national calamity or catastrophe, I decided if I give you, hapless readers a break since my mind went blank for a while (like it does most of the time!!).

At this point I have a private confession to make on a public blog space..I was extremely busy and preoccupied doing something extremely important to me....nothing!! For all you people who have begun to envy my blankness, joblessness and most of all my supreme mediocrity,,,hold your horses! I enjoy (others would call it suffer,but we will conveniently ignore the logically minded people for a moment!),yes..I enjoy extremely high levels of ADD! ( for the uninformed,that is attention deficit disorder!!).

I have a hyperactive mind that is constantly doing something or the other and when I have long breaks between work, I go into a frenzy of activity...mostly the kind that will hurt me on after-sight!!. To keep myself busy, I am busy devising business schemes that are guaranteed to lose money, help friends with something that I will be conveniently blamed for pretty soon, planning movie projects that only people in Korea or Japan 'might' watch and even investing my heart in places with a 'German precision and guarantee' for failure and hurt!!

Recently I had an epiphany and probably for the first time (due to my ADD, I dont remember the last time, so for convenience sake, let's assume this is the first!!), I am sitting back and trying to take stock of my life!.My mistakes from the past and the new mistakes I was dangerously close to making...! I have decided I will not make the same mistakes and look deep inside my mind (and pretend there is a lot of depth inside!) and be still,calm and stop my 'running around like a headless chicken' sport that I like playing with my team members who are all in my head!

Phew, I have sufficiently and suitably confused all as to my delay in blogging, but that is not the point I am trying to make in this blog! To set the record straight, all my friends will vouch for my not having any ADD problems( though madness is widely suspected!). I confess to start with some humor to address a problem that is silently plaguing this nation and maybe this world!!

psychiatry is still unknown, unappreciated, undervalued specialization in medicine that we have today. Crazies and loonies is a term loosely used for slotting people when we dont understand their words and actions but it goes much deeper than that.On a lighter note...without which you might not care to read this, we are not talking the mad old woman at the traffic signal who chases you with a stick when you try to give her some change...! We are talking about normal people (on the outside) who are battling demons on the inside without understanding what they are going through and why they are going through!

Educated, affluent people with full access to a psychiatrist and his help do not like to acknowledge problems, thanks largely to the stigma that is associating with a shrink with madness and the person being ineligible for a job and marriage and normal life!!

A 55 year old man suddenly quits his job and goes in to a crippling depression, refuses to seek help;a 60 year old woman leaves husband, children and home with no clue where she is going or wants to go; a woman is hurriedly married off by the parents to a man who has heavy suicidal tendencies that she is reduced to being his guard and watchman so that he doesn't attempt it...again!; a young woman, after one year of marriage is caught trying to kill her new born!!

These are real incidents and there are many more we dont know about silently happening all around us!. Friends, if you see the signs around you, reach out and help, guide them to seek help.I dont claim to know much about the subject, but there are so many kinds of disorders that can happen to the human mind and slowly science is progressing to understand the variances and deficiency in the chemicals needed for the human brain, which the scientists have only touched the minuscule tip of the iceberg!!

ADD- attention deficit disorder, OCD-obsessive compulsive disorder ADHD- attention deficit hyperactive disorder, Bipolar behavior 1 and 2 ( mood swings ),

Chronic Depression, which needs no explanation,Schizophrenia - a multiple personalty disorder ........ so on and so forth!The reason why I brought this up is that we are not as unaware or uneducated as our elders... we need to be much more aware of this field so that we dont make the mistakes our elders did!A relative of mine was married off to a manic depressive and she still is living that hell!

On a lighter note, in the US, there is a common medication that everyone thinks is the answer to all problems...PROZAC ! So much so that it has become a joke but universal cures for all problems with a single tablet is a myth and self medication is extremely dangerous!! We as Asians have a ready made answer in comparison to the westerner! we blame it on fate or karma and we are never plagued with responsibility of actions or guilt because God is doing it all....it's never our fault!!

The average westerner believes he is responsible for his actions and feels low when he screws up, but not our Asian!! So to some degree, the Asians are lucky to have so many Gods to entrust their guilt on and sleep peacefully !!

I know this is the first time I have sounded preachy or even sane but I apologize for my lapse in madness and promise to be less in control of logic next time! :p

p.s .. any Docs out there, feel free to correct me on the medical terms!!