P.S I Hate Love !!

Now, if at all something grabs anyone's attention quicker than greased lightning , they are the words love and sex!! Since I am done with sex with all of you (I meant as a topic in past blog....!, take your minds off the gutter,you one track minded folks!!), I am now tackling love!(not that its' anything new for me , but then I digress..again !) After the comments and encouraging responses, I owe it to myself to continue the never before heard levels of excellence in mediocrity and mundaneness of my blogging,, so off I go now!(whereto, I have no clue!!)

Coming back to love,(as we constantly and repeatedly do in our lives!) I hereby state the obvious..love is an illusion. I know, I know many of you are nodding your heads in disagreement, but hear me out first!. Love, I believe is a joke that our hormones play on us and the 'Valentine's Day' is a celebration of that joke!(ala April fools day!) Now I sound insanely close to being a pessimist, but I am stating something out of my experience and my neighbours' !. I have believed in forevers many times and have been rudely shaken out of my reverie when the other one says "We need to talk" !!.

Now guys, let me explain something to you...whenever your partner says that to you, trust me you are in deep shit!! Here are a few ways you can screwup...

1) You are constantly busy and you have no time for me

2) You are jobless and dont have drive or motivation..I cant respect a person like that

3) You are home all the time, and on my case! I need space!!

4) You dont want to go out with me as often as I would like

5) Every time i go out, you want to follow me..you dont trust me?

6) You dont make love to me often enough, are you getting it from somewhere else?

7) You want it constantly..you are an animal,,thats all you need me for!!

8)You make me feel like an idiot in public..I cant take your hogging of conversations!

9) I need a partner i can look up to..this dumb silence in public wont do!

10) I hate your job !

11) I hate my job!

12) I need romance in my life..you are not romantic at all!

13) I dont like PDA (public displays of affection)..stop being clingy!

So on and so forth! There are countless ways you can screw up and this goes for both sexes! (lest I be branded a woman hater!!)

The truth is guys, most relationships are over before your realise they are.The days of us watching our parents stick together because of social pressure, economic binding, children's well being,(In some case, genuine bonding) etc, etc are long gone..! They are replaced by economic independence and exposure to other cultures where being 'free' is fashionable and together does not necessarily translate to forever!! I have seen most of the permutations and combinations of relationships and their demises(of mine and others!!) So it is with the great wisdom of having brought couples together where some have stuck on , some have faded apart that i pen these words!.

Trust me when I tell you that I have no regrets and have the utmost respect for the women who have come into my life and though not near, have stayed in my mind forever cherished!.Some have educated me, some have made me a better human being, some have been my pillars of strength, some have been my babies, some have been my mother hens!I am what i am today because of them and I am proud of what I have been through and its all been good!

Love is a very powerful emotion that gives you a high like no other drug in this world. But love comes with many failings and many sacrifices (sometimes foolish ones!)..from both sides!.Some mistake lust for love, some mistake a crush for love, some mistake need for someone near for love, some even love for the convenience of being in love. The only love that I have come to understand that can stand the test of time and goes beyond the realm of selflessness and goes to the extent of sacrifice is the love a mother, a parent has for the children!. That is eternal and 'forever'(meaning till you last in this planet!).

Please do not mistake me as a non- believer of love and romance.I love being in love as much as any other guy!.Who in their right mind doesn't want togetherness, romance,passion,support and understanding??. What I come to say is that we might not get all from the same person, might not get all for a long time..(read that as, till you die!) It is not out there and if it is, it is rare!! So, forever is very very longass time to expect your partner to be turned on by your words, actions and a constantly aging body!! Ok, some might say, that is where fondness kicks in and that is enough for you to stay in the relationship... Right!, is that why there are so many cases of adultery all around us?..because you are fond of your partner, but get your desert from somewhere else (read that as sex!, for the delicate minded readers!!)

We are bombarded by ads like fast track where they promote changing your watches as often as you change partners (or is it the other way around?, I wonder!!). You really think it is not making all of us wonder if there is a forever, if there is a true love and if it will stay true and if we are really capable of being monogamous for the rest of our lives?? When i say monogamy, I include the mind too! Our minds also need stimulation and we might not get it constantly from our partners..do we let our minds stray?..watch out..the body follows the mind!! We need variety in bed too which after a few seasons with one person,after all the permutations and combinations of wrestling with each other(I word my words delicatelyhere!) , becomes predictable and ends up being a chore to the women and just a release for the men!!

I am not giving you a grim picture..I am playing the devil's advocate (and pleading his case,heheh!!) and telling you like it is and like what I have seen and felt! Maybe there are people living in ignorant bliss worshiping the ground each other walk on..but you know as well as me those cases are far and few nowadays!! Some wise man said..'marriage is an institution, but then, who wants to live in an institution??( as in mental institution, for the wordly pun- challenged!) All I am saying is,(looks like I have said too much and pissed off too many people already!!) enjoy it while it lasts..when the time comes, use the same dignity and class you have shown when getting into it , while getting out of it too!!. There is going to be a demise in the magic, there is going to be a falling out, but it doesn't have to be ugly! I always move on in my own merry way unmindful of how many people call me a 'loser" because i know...tomorrow is a brand new day!Lest i sound like a serial relationshipper (I dont even know if there is a term!?). I have been completely monogamous(one at a time I say!!) I have been at my best behavior and I have been blessed to still have them care for me!.

The point of this tirade (should there be a point ??) is to accept and embrace what God has given us and to some of us lucky ones, he gives many, unlike a couple that is in the throes of ignorant domestic bliss,caused by lack of imagination or opportunity!(this is certain to get me stoned!, with the rock variety, not the fumes variety!!) when I look at a happily married couple, I wonder which one is happy and which one is married!!

Lastly, I am what I am by design, not by choice...which is what most of you out there are and this blog is in celebration of people who have given their best and have been left out in the cold, ...confused, scared of the next step, wary of everyone new, not knowing whether to move ahead or retreat! Take heart, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!! Shit happens and it has happened to you too!! Every relationship comes with an 'expiry date'!!.

Accept, embrace and move on...someone who deserves you is out there!!

GOOD LUCK IN LOVE AND GOD BLESS THE NEXT ONE!!

(P.S..I hate love is titled thus because I have had to do it so many times and still haven't got it right!, so I will keep trying :p)